Spanish - Español

Spanish. I can read it much better than speak it. This is a poor excuse considering all the opportunities there are to practice in the USA. It does seem, however, that just about every American knows at least some Spanish, and perhaps this is why it's hard for me to get motivated enough to really dive into Spanish as much as I should; it's just not that exotic. This, if not laziness, may explain why High School students in American can sum up 4 years of what they learned in Spanish class with mi tío está enfermo and una cerveza, por favor. Were practicality the deciding factor for those of us in the good ol' US of A about which language to study then Spanish would be número uno, especially in the law enforcement and medical professions. That aside, one thing that always dumbfounded me was the fact that in TV shows and movies, Spaniards or Latinos can have full-bore conversations in fluent English but can't seem to muster the English equivalent of "sí señor", but I digress.
Truth be told, I actually find Spanish to be más difícil than French, even though due to spelling and pronunciation French is classified as slightly harder to learn for English speakers (I don't know who classifies it this way, but it is general knowledge). I took French longer in school and had more motivation to learn French, but something just seems off with Spanish. For one, I get perplexed by the verbs estar and ser. Is it es or esta, estuve or estabe... or fue? I mean I know the difference, but in conversation I always find myself thinking too hard. En cualquier caso...

Motivation:
- Being able to understand 20% of the US population
- Soccer; gooooooooooooooool!!!
- Good looking women

Pros:
- Relatively easy
- An enormous amount of learning material is available
- Endless opportunities for immersion

Cons:
- Not very exotic
- They speak too damn fast
- Accent marks are a pain
- ¿Why the need for the punctuation sandwich?
- Somebody will always be able to call your bluff if you suck at speaking Spanish

Consejos:
- When speaking to an American (as in North, Central and South) speak the lispy Castilian Spanish; it may intimidate enough to gain that initial "Yes, I AM speaking the King's Spanish with you"... or it will make them laugh.
- Vice-versa when speaking to somebody from Spain. If you can't think of a word, make up a Spanish sounding word and say "Oh, it's what they taught us in school, you know that silly Mexican Spanish."
- If they catch you lying, say "mi tío está enfermo", sob quietly, then walk away.