French - Le Français

Yes, my friends, despite our differences with the French, their language is here to stay as the premiere foreign language to learn. Hell, even the word premiere is derived from French (then again so is the word surrender). French is spoken and/or studied all over the world, from the eager high school student suffering no doubt from ennui to the most prestigious of world leaders. Having grown up relatively close to the Canadian border i.e. the Provence of Quebec, French was something one could often hear over the radio. Even the welcome sign of my New England state had Bienvenue au... welcome to... written on it under the English. In the spirit of trying to keep this blog more about the language and less about its history, it is important to note that many linguists of today consider French the epitome (another French word) of languages. That is to say, you can speak 10 languages natively as a Norwegian or as fluent as a Finn, but you will always be judged as a linguist by how well you speak your French. French is indeed the language of art, politique, commerce and snobbery.

My motivation:
French was the first foreign language I had ever been exposed to other than New Englandese: "Ayah, davey said a statey pull him ovah fah pahkin' in havid yahd. He was wicked stahtled when he snuck up behind him like a faht in tha wind, byjesus." The first foreign country I had ever visited was Montreal, Quebec, Canada. In our hotel, there was a parrot, which was "bilingual." He would say "aaak bonjour/hello, comment-allez vous, how are you aaaak!?" What more motivation could a little kid ask for?

Pros of learning French:
- If you know English, you already know a lot of French words.
- Just about every school offers French.
- French, along with Spanish, are really only the two languages you will find in your local bookstore's "Foreign Language" section.
- Speaking French will make you sound elegant even if you live in a Georgian double-wide (if you don't know what a double-wide is, chances are you speak French very well).
- It's the one of two MAYBE three languages you can select when watching DVD's (I really think German should be among them, but never is).


Cons:
- Due to the different accented marks and swallowed word endings, spelling is very, very difficult; makes English spelling look like making words plural in Indonesian (you just say it twice).
- It does not have many stressed words like other languages, and comprehending it can be tough.
- Uses a lot of "is-it-that-it-may-can be" structures, which seem excessive.
- Parisians will want to shoot you in the face with buck-shot if your pronunciation sucks.
- Learning it in school will force you to read Le Petit Prince. Eventually, you will study French In Action. In this story is the ever beautiful Mireille. She is gorgeous and you will never date her. Live with it; I have.

Trucs et Astuces, tips:
- As with other languages that have masculine and feminine articles, just say mumble out a "L". If you say it fast enough, people won't really notice. Besides, who cares?
- If you are grasping for a word from your English vocabulary, try saying the English word with a French accent, you never know it may just be correct, especially if it ends in -ion.
- If in Paris, do not attempt to speak louder thinking that they will understand you better. They will most likely take off their fancy, leather driving-gloves finger by finger and proceed to slap you with it.

If you don't use this already in school (and you can afford it), I strongly suggest:



You must also get the hardcover book as well:




There is a part two, which you will want, and there are also videos, which are hard to find. The workbook must be ordered separately, but I'd skip it; I hate workbooks. Namely because "work" is in the word, and work drains motivation.

If you can't afford the above, you can always start with:



I will review some other French goodies in later posts. D'accord?